Barista

2009-03-20T11:02:00.001+08:00

you know you are from a different era when your definitive player wearing a certain shirt at your favourite football club is so different from the next fan of the club.

that sucks.

2009-03-10T01:04:00.002+08:00

the monotony of work / life is smothering, yet so endearing in a way that its never going to change. either for you or for the world. people change, everything does. maybe that's why this monotony is so alluring as it is smothering. much like the chick you thought you saw at the club only to find out that you are just so wrong the morning after.

as dr house said in ep 501, almost dying changes nothing, dying changes everything. how very true.

2008-12-30T16:12:00.002+08:00

the end of 2008 is right here again. a quick recap of the 2008 just/about to pass.

- started current job
- persuaded my lovely gf to put her name dw for our future dwelling
- managed to put my name and money dw for same
- attended a few weddings of my peers [broke from the angpows actually]
- driving license
- co-owning a set of wheels.... keys to freedom
- a whirlwing bkk trip

2008 seems pretty alrite, but i am sure my memory has convienently left out those not so fabulous moments but who cares abt the bad, rite?

the post below is unfinished...will return to complete it sometime...when the time comes.

happy new year, folks.

2008-12-15T13:01:00.003+08:00

i rem the 1st time i tried rock climbing was in secondary sch. cant rem much except that a female classmate of mine 'got stuck' on the wall. cue all the shrieks and whining from above and encouragement and cajoling from below. most importantly, tt was the 1st time i enjoyed the air at the top, it was good.

somehow my odac days in jc was either spend out at selatar island or at our sch's rock wall. in my days, accdg to lim, it was a big deal to have a 12M wall in the sch, and since he was the one who pushed for it, it wld be best if his ECA ppl can utilise it the most to ensure money din go to waste. cue rock climbing courses, belaying courses, abseiling courses. those will fun and i took in the air at the top even more and the view was splendid too.

some PE lessons were spend at the wall, with lim hawking his new baby to anyone who cared to try. and the odac ppl were obviously arrowed for any sai gang tt comes with climbing PE lessons. like the ropes, fig of 8, carabiners etc etc, of cos route setting is done by lim, a chance for him to show off his muscles. haha

sometime between end of jc and start of uni, me and my mates, set out for some RnR in thailand coupled with some natural limestone climbing. the views at the top there were absolutely stunning. the abseiling part was great. gravity never felt so good.

2008-12-09T16:04:00.003+08:00

its been a long long while since i updated this blog of mine.

lotsa things to update and to share yet so little time. to those that read this, i am still well and good and i gotten my driver's license and now co-own a set of wheels.

the feeling of freedom is indeed hard to describe and the tangible price of this intangible freedom is very stressing.

tts the big paradox of life...

2008-08-16T11:33:00.002+08:00

make a short trip to BKK over the national day weekend and it was all good. the shopping was good, the hotel was good, even the weather was good! currently its the monsoon season but it was sunny sunny all the way over the weekend i was there.

those temple of steel and glass dedicated to shopping were......larger then huge... now u r asking how big that might be.. its actually wat u get when u CONNECT a few HUGE malls together.. gosh, me thinks the GF might dig tt place alot.

the one thing not so good was the cuisine part..we din managed to find any authenic thai food that suits our platate. watever happened to thai express. hahaha.

all in all, i am real tempted to make another trip back in the near near future.

2008-08-07T16:56:00.002+08:00

A routine day
=============

0730 attempts to wake up
0750 finally woken
0810 begins dash to bus stop
0820 hopes to be at the train station
0822 begins the big great squash-a-thon [to think i missed this part slightly when was man of leisure sometime back]
0855 ends squash-a-thon
0900 attempts to sleep on final leg of journey
0920 the overhead bridge beckons
0930 my workstation is woken / my bedlam begins
1030 grp therapy session w my collicks also known as daily mtg
1115 solo therapy session with my boss also known as daily kena scolding session.
1230 contemplates lunch
1300 ppl watching session / lunch begins
1415 back to bedlam
1730 official time for salvation
1800 usual time for salvation
1801 my day begins.

maybe i shld consider a job change.

2008-07-08T11:56:00.002+08:00

Things you used to be able to do when you were young, but can't anymore.

-be functional while hungover
-going w/o slp for ard 2days
-run and play sports all day
-run up walls [obviously not the whole damn wall]
-eating like a bottomless pit and not put on weight

and they say life goes downhill at 30.

wat's your list?

2008-06-23T23:24:00.002+08:00

the match starts, this match is the one. the one that will end 8 months of agony. 8 months of watching the londoners whore themselves all over the land as the 'invincibles' and getting all wet at the media hype.

the ref is a real 'homer' every 50/50 goes our way. what a wussy ref, might as well give him a red shirt. our gaffer has been conditioning this pussy of a ref thru the papers all week and now he fallen for it, hook, line and sinker.

the inevitable penalty finally arrived.

as you grab the ball and make it your own, memories come flooding back. same place same situation, the ball came off the crossbar and destiny was written and sealed all at once.

the shame.

the agony.

now is the chance to put it rite once and for all. to slay the inner demons and setting the chip on the shoulder rite.

the scene is set. ball 12 yards out, you and the net with the keeper in between.

nothing else matters, everything fades out.

you pick your spot, you begin your run up, you hit the ball like your life depend on it. your life as you know it IS dependent on this one and only kick.

as the ball left your rite foot, you knew it, you just knew it...you have hit the sweet spot dead on.

the net bulged, the twat of a keeper didn't move.

the stadia came alive once again. you run off to the corner to soak it all it. running and screaming like a mad man. that guttural roar that broke the dam holding back all the humiliation, desperation.

its all good again. till the next time.

2008-06-05T16:19:00.002+08:00

its now june and weather is getting crappier. the same goes for my mood too...a wee bit of correlation there. haha.

its been great since the last post, good r/s with the gf, work's going well...nothing much on the horizon. UTD winning the double in a thrilling final!

all is well and good. wish the gf good luck since she flying off to BALI for work.. the joys of being a reporter.

cheers!

2008-05-13T00:25:00.002+08:00

was thinking to myself...what a wonderful world this is.

glad to say i haven't been proved wrong yet. just yet.

Peace! Love! Empathy!

:D

2008-02-05T21:58:00.000+08:00

frozen time on a piece of 4' x 3'

i'm sure we all know abt the obscene[artistic] photos of various hk celebrities? it sure is piece of hot juicy gossip tt any self respecting tabloid would want as an exclusive. it just awakes the hidden voyeur in all of us, me included, i must admit.

this piece of juice got me thinking tho. is this filming of oneself a new fad? or something that went under the radar for so long tt its able to grab attention once it surfaces?

i doubt its a new fad. definitely.

then wat's its inherent attention grabbing quality then?

i deduce information overload. overwhelming amount of information. copious amount of information tt swamp us on a daily basis.

dun agree?

the internet generation has gotten ppl to wanna share information with anyone. evidence can be seen from youtube or stomp where the masses generate the content. y film sex acts then? isnt it private, or supposedly private?

haaaaaaaa.. in fact not. these are celebs, ppl who spend their lives in the limelights. ppl whose lifes play out to a global audience who lap up any morsel of private, intimate details tt cld be unearthed by the press. in the process, causing them great grief, no doubt.

taking this as primary premise, wld having something tt the public doesnt have gives them a feeling of empowerment? its basic one-up-manship. the thrill of kiping such a powerful piece of 'thing' wld be too hard to resist...i think.

anyways, i leave u to make up yer conclusions..and of cos u are entitled to think tt i am sherlock holmes incarnated or just another self important quack tt the internet has a habit of throwing up.

if i were u, the latter option wld be very tempting.hahaha

happy holidays everyone.

2008-02-01T13:10:00.000+08:00

random words and regimented thoughts

words have been used by humans to convey feelings,ideas for centuries. from the earliest caveman wordings scrawled on limestone walls to the latest emails and sms.

we, as a species, have always showed an urge to want to communicate/to share with another human being. anyone. anyone, who cares to listen. with modern technology, geographical distance has ceased to be a factor in finding a receptive audience.

and if i dare to add, the black n white have done a pretty gd job down the yrs in doing what it was invented for. communication.

YET sometimes, words fail me. either they sounds so wrong, or better still, a suitable word escapes me. zero. glitch. blank. this might be due to the incredibility of the situation/person/thing in point or myself is still coming to terms with the situation.person.thing in point.

And when words fail either way,
And when words are all i have to take your heart away.
It can be such a tragedy played out in silence.
Delirium in silence makes it all the harder to bear.

2008-01-26T00:08:00.000+08:00

~~
路
~~
我们都该回头看看来时路
就算起凤偶尔有雾模糊不了幸福

我们都该在心里数数感动的次数
谁陪你疯谁陪你笑拍拍肩一起追逐

多少爱错过了才看清楚
多少事无法弥补才认输
多少次以为找到了幸福
却发现一开始就是个错误

每一段路都是一段领悟
珍珠再夺目留不住心头热呼呼
真心的鼓舞能温暖一生的旅途

每一段路难免荆棘密布
把坚持牢牢握住不怕艰难险阻
学会去爱就不会迷路

in case u dunnno, the a/m lyrics are from the theme of the recently concluded channel 8 drama '黄金路'.

its a gd drama IMO cos, the plot is plausible in reality to a certain extent, and i personally like to watch shows which feature brothers/frens turning on each other. it just gives me a great kick outta it.

In this case, LNX n TPH are the protagonists and i must really say the acting chops that these 2 show-cased in this show are top drawer. it was done just rite, no over-acting.[smthng which i detest very much]

i find certain verses of the lyrics very moving, striking a chord w me. at the same time, i guess it illustrate the beauty of the chinese language, the poetic element tt IMHO, kinda missing from english. of cos the caveats here is tt the fault inherently lies in my less than masterful mastery of the enlish language or the culture i am brought up in.

anyways, do sarpork local acts like MiLuBing. which gave the rendition tt this song deserves and kudos to them for tt, it ain't easy.

2008-01-23T12:46:00.000+08:00

CNY

the yearly CNY is nearly upon us again, the festivities and related happy mood can be seen and heard and felt all around us, bombarding our senses. I hope it will be a nice CNY this yr. as contrasted to last yr's, where WORK was waiting to ambush me at every other corner.From wat i see, ows and bulk ops are kinda slack and yes, i think i will haf a gd CNY w/o work related worries.

surfing ard and realised tt a former classmate of mine's in the oil industry doing ops too. but she's doing blending/demurrage nowadays, this got me thinking, hw to go up to her lvl. hmmmmm.......sounds like a long way off. well, time will tell.

the daily commute is getting tiring...but gd thing is, i haf learnt to slp and wake early! no more slp at 3-4am and wake 2-3pm, which i kinda think is unhealthy tho the number of hours slept is still roughly the same, maybe even more then wat i am slping daily now. but well, u r wat u think, so the only way is to think healthy.

2008-01-14T12:37:00.000+08:00

new year, new job.

sounds great? hmm...of cos it sounds great. quite interested to know more abt bulk and owners stuff. a definite break from my previous job.

actually, i do haf my reservations abt this switch, cos of industry difference between the commodities but all is well as of now. i just have to wait and see.

work so far has been slack to say the least, the work enviroment is good and better then the previous one, so that is a plus. the only [and major] turn off is the HUGE amount of commuting time everyday. really really tempting...the idea of private tpt.

maybe i will ask the boss why he took me on so readily...tts if i haf the chance, of cos.

2007-12-27T12:55:00.000+08:00

New

gotten hired ytd, so all was good. the strange thing was tt i was hired on the spot..which i thot was amazing, i was thinking of maybe a trip of leisure in jan so guess got to scrap tt now.

xmas was nothing much

2007-12-22T12:16:00.000+08:00

Moment of Life

One's lifetime is often filled with moments, moments which normally displace your place from its rightful position [chest cavity]. Under normal circumstances, it can be found in the throat or stomach area, depending on the moment. Sometimes, your heart might even be with some other random person that caught your line of sight.

So, other then those heart displacing moments, there are of course other moments worth blogging about, namely those WTF / WTH / [insert your own expletive] moment.

Speaking of which, i had the privilege of encountering some recently and i shall recount some choice ones here.

there was once i was out drinking with the usual bunch of friends, we were drinking happily and.............gosh, i cant really recall now, can i?

Ladies and gentleman, presenting you all with just another WTF / WTH / [insert your own expletive] moment.

Cheers and take good care over the festive season.

A public service message from me to all of you out there, 'Low crime doesnt mean no crime.' let our tax money be wasted not, go on and do your bit, litter or even, dare i say it, get drunk and be wasted on the pavement.

Happy holidays.

2007-12-08T04:48:00.000+08:00

我不难过
作词:杨明学作曲:李偲松

又站在你家的門口我們能重複沉默
這樣子單方面的守候還能多久

終於你開口向我訴說她有多溫柔
雖然你還握著我的手但我已不在你心中

我真的懂你不是喜新厭舊
是我沒有陪在你身邊當你寂寞時候
別再看著我說著你愛過別太傷痛
我不難過這不算什麼只是為什麼眼淚會流我也不懂

就讓我走讓我開始享受自由
回憶很多你的影子也會充滿我生活
我並不懦弱你比誰都懂
雖然寂寞這會是我最後的寬容

終於你開口向我訴說她有多溫柔
雖然你還握著我的手但我已不在你心中

我真的懂你不是喜新厭舊
是我沒有陪在你身邊當你寂寞時候
別再看著我說著你愛過別太傷痛
我不難過這不算什麼只是為什麼眼淚會流我也不懂

就讓我走讓我開始享受自由
回憶很多你的影子也會充滿我生活
我並不懦弱你比誰都懂
雖然寂寞這會是我最後的寬容

抱緊我再抱緊我
這一份感動請你讓我留在胸口
別再說是你的錯
愛到了盡頭是非對錯就讓它隨風
忘了所有過得比你快活

我真的懂你不是喜新厭舊
是我沒有陪在你身邊當你寂寞時候
別再看著我說著你愛過別太傷痛
我不難過這不算什麼只是為什麼眼淚會流我也不懂

不要再說或許這是最好的結果
現在分手總好過你不愛我一拖再拖
鬆開你的手離開你左右
我向前走這會是我成長的解脫

晴天
作词:周杰伦作曲:周杰伦

故事的小黄花
从出生那年就飘着
童年的荡秋千
随记忆一直晃到现在
ㄖㄨㄟㄙㄡㄙㄡㄒ一ㄉㄡㄒ一
ㄌㄚㄙㄡㄌㄚㄒ一ㄒ一ㄒ一ㄒ一ㄌㄚㄒ一ㄌㄚㄙㄡ
吹着前奏望着天空
我想起花瓣试着掉落
为你翘课的那一天
花落的那一天
教室的那一间
我怎么看不见
消失的下雨天
我好想再淋一遍
没想到失去的勇气我还留着
好想再问一遍
你会等待还是离开
刮风这天我试过握着你手
但偏偏雨渐渐
大到我看你不见
还要多久我才能在你身边
等待放晴的那天也许我会比较好一点
从前从前有个人爱你很久
但偏偏风渐渐
把距离吹得好远
好不容易又能再多爱一天
但故事的最后你好像还是说了拜拜

为你翘课的那一天
花落的那一天
教室的那一间
我怎么看不见
消失的下雨天
我好想再淋一遍
没想到失去的勇气我还留着
好想再问一遍
你会等待还是离开
刮风这天我试过握着你手
但偏偏雨渐渐
大到我看你不见
还要多久我才能在你身边
等待放晴的那天也许我会比较好一点
从前从前有个人爱你很久
但偏偏风渐渐
把距离吹得好远
好不容易又能再多爱一天
但故事的最后你好像还是说了拜拜

刮风这天我试过握着你手
但偏偏雨渐渐
大到我看你不见
还要多久我才能在你身边
等待放晴的那天也许我会比较好一点
从前从前有个人爱你很久
但偏偏风渐渐
把距离吹得好远
好不容易又能再多爱一天
但故事的最后你好像还是说了拜拜

这两首歌真是百听不厌。

2007-11-18T17:37:00.000+08:00

random notes on the physical side of things

- DIY furniture is only good when there is teamwork.

- might be a tad too sensitive to dust and etc. explains thoroughly the sneeze tt followed me the whole of yesterday and today.

- i am just getting fat and pretty useless in doing manual labour.

- with regards to above point, i might just be plain lazy.

- all factors in, i should just restrict my physical activities to eating and maybe the odd fart here and there.

2007-11-10T01:57:00.000+08:00

Slacking....

After i quitted, days have just flashed me by...always busy with stuff and meet-ups, self admin stuff and some fun have taken up all my days...well, i guess tts life..

the front of it....

the back or it.....

me wearing it...

thanks to my dear for getting it for me.

meanwhile, some other pictures of the stuff i use often...

the newly purchased computer....

and the new phone, the N95 8GB.

since i gotten a phone with a better camera, i will put more pictures up.. and looking at it...i think i like black a lot...black ipod nano, black cpu, black lcd, black speakers, black hp....jeezzz. i amaze myself sometimes.

2007-10-10T16:33:00.000+08:00

Last Day at Work

Today was my last day at work, it went pretty well and my boss decided on a farewell lunch for me together with the rest of the staff. It was a lunch buffet at a cafe at Trader's Hotel. A good enough meal, tho the durian paste there was good stuff.

After lunch back at the office, boss did the usual speech to leaving staff [i guessed] gave me my last paycheck and told me that the door is always open for me should i have a change of mind. I smiled and nodded, of cos knowing that i would not jump back into what i have tried to be free of.

Said my goodbyes and left, for a new chapter of my life. Feeling i had then was almost all of mirth and no sense of unwillingness whatsoever.

Dun misunderstand that i hated this job, i like the way the job was when i started out but with time and experience, it started to be another job and i knew i had to go.

All in all, i am grateful that i was given a chance to experienced what i went thru during the course of this job.

2007-09-25T10:49:00.000+08:00

Finally tendered my resignation, a load off my mind but the next question of finding a suitable job is equally mystifing. hmm.

starting the 18 month course end of oct, kinda excited[?] but also quite sian seeing all the changes that has to be made by me and the ppl around me.

plan now is to take a break 1st from the rat race and get my driver's license[!] and hopefully rest myself well enough for the long road ahead.[haha, tts the slacker in me talking]

around 2 yrs of almost non stop work/entertainment surely has taken its toll. I would really be looking forward to leading a slower lifestyle from now on, at least for this 18 months.

on another note, wat a big difference 1 man make! mourinho's leaving chelsea has just so so so much impact on the group of players that i wonder who can drag this bunch of disillusioned millionaires to the level of play under mourinho. practise of group/organisation psychology at its best, i say.

mourinho, mourinho, a man you either love or hate, with no exception of the middle ground.

and i am not ashamed to say i just lurvvveeeeeee him for some of his quotes.. hahaha.

2007-08-24T16:33:00.000+08:00

n DAYS n YEARS n MONTHS

minutes become hours and hours into days then days to months which makes years. years to go before you expire.

what a crap way of spending your time on earth.

life, for all its complexities and unpredictablity, seems pretty simple and straightforward sometimes. so much so that its kinda....strange.

u like this person, all the things he says makes sense and you kinda inclined to agree and do his bidding. and the reverse is true if u dun like his face. yes, its sometimes all about face value,literally.

2007-08-02T15:10:00.000+08:00

Don't Look Back in Anger

Wldn't it be ideal, if one can really live life without regrets and be ash-i-fied with a faint smile [smirk] that you have live your life the way you want it [gotten the better of life].

Maybe a few select mortals might just leave this world like the abovementioned way. But the norm would be , i guess, making do and living with some mistakes/regrets and at the same time hoping for better things to come their way. But it can be a very fine balance to strike systematically and consistently over the course of a few tens of years. But we all try, dun we?

Again, after living in my comfort zone for the best part of a year, i have been jolted outta my confort zone and got to make some tough decisions to sort out my current lifestyle. Its not a bad thing definitely, but the inertia is really telling, and am struggling to deal with this reluctance to change, to improve. I guess i am just a true blue slacker-maniac at heart.

I used to think that a simple life would suffice for me but after starting work and getting acquainted with society at large, i come to realise how complex a 'simple life' can get. Sometimes, jadedness sets in when the realisation of the saying 'zuo ren hao nan' is complete.

Enough of my negative rants.

2007-06-19T14:13:00.000+08:00

My Team of the Season.

GK: Scott Carson
Solid player, too bad he cldn't save them from relegation. He will shine shld Pool gives him a chance as No.1

RB: Steve Finnan
Seems like all the good right backs aren't glamourous..unlike a certain dani alves across the pond. He unsung, he crosses well and he looks like matt damon!

LB: Gareth Barry
Leadership, decent pace and delivery, all in all one of the few consistently good ones this season. As compared to a certain cashley.

CB: Ricardo Carvalho
The beacon in Chelski corkananthan defence this season, wat will mourinho do without him. Basket has a knack of scoring against Utd.

CB: N. Vidic
Yeah, i have problems spelling his 1st name, but tt doesnt stop me from making him my best centre back this season. One of the biggest reasons utd won the trophy this season. His absence towards the end only enhances his reputation.

LM: Arjen Robben
Of cos, he must be match fit in order to be on the pitch but when he's on the pitch, he's a terror. should his move to bayern materialise, its chelsea's big loss.

CM: Xabi Alonso
Becos my GF says so. Its reason enough.

CM: Micheal Carrick
In my opinion, he's the unsung hero for UTD this season where scholes has been taking the pundits. If i rem correctly, he started a huge chunk of UTD's game this season, just behind rooney n ferdinard. So maybe ferguson shares my opinion too. hahaha.

RM: Christiano Ronaldo
All of the rest of the media and the professional footballer in England cant be wrong, aye? The good thing abt him this season, i think, would be his maturity into a more complete footballer. His new found abilites to pick a pass, make runs into space, take a shot at the rite time all contributes to him being the engine behind Utd's charge to the title this season. Just ask rooney, hahaha.

FW: Didier Drogba
The one reason chelsea was in contention for all 3 trophies and the ONLY reason they ended up with 2 cups this season. Enough said.

FW: Dimitar Berbatov
Classy player, managed to make the grade straight from the off, question is, will he still be with spurs come next season. Utd remains a possible destination.

2007-05-23T15:02:00.000+08:00

aye aye!

utd has won the league!!

utd has lost the FA Cup!!

anyways, as so the story goes, its just a speck of dust in the desert of time.

:D

2007-03-14T15:17:00.000+08:00

once a upon a time
fascinated by wooden pieces on board i was
all day long
mood swings as pieces move
joy in victory and
sorrow in defeat

hours turned into days and
days turned in years
memories sealed and consigned

2007-03-05T01:05:00.000+08:00

The weekend came and pass for the umpteen time.. The relief of friday turns to the dread of sunday all too quickly.

At least this west ham vs spurs match on tv is exciting, makes up for some of the customary sunday nite dread.

Utd won at the weekend through a dramatic last grasp winner. Title Seems destined for old trafford now lest fate plays a cruel joke at this juncture, which i might add, happena quite often to me. Hahaha.

I think i should consider going for some anger management class just so that i can live longer, or maybe save the ppl ard me some unwarranted grief.

Others to report wld be the shift to new blogger, a move i resisted for quite sometime...but yet i succumb just the same. Just makes me wonder, is resistance really futile in face of temptations and inevitability?

What ever happened to standing up for your own ideals and principles?

Today marks the end of the CNY festivities, so it puts a stop to having ppl i barely know wishing me gong xi fa cai or the oft abused 'happy new year' like some long lost buddy which irritates the hell outta me. Otherwise, this day just marks a return to the daily grind, if you still have not returned to it anyways.

Some1 once told me tt the only constant thing in life is change itself. It certainly had a decidedly pessimistic tone to it when she said it but with the benefit of hindsight, i would add in tt given any changes, i wld adapt to it, given sometime. I am just just just so sure of it.

Nites, and may a good week find its way to YOU.

2007-02-21T15:02:00.000+08:00

happy is the man who finds meaning in his actions.
foolish is the man who acts for the consequences.

but.........

the clever ones just beats all the others in what they do.

and..............

the retards just carry on without rhyme or reason...

2007-01-30T16:12:00.000+08:00

life is kinda busy these days but there is lots to look forward to.. actually if there is nothing to look forward to, life will be kinda unbearable. its always good to look to the horizon chase after it. not forgettin to take a rest here and there when one is tired...

well, i think i am tired..and i need a rest, definitely.

2007-01-15T21:49:00.000+08:00

woke up tired and drained today. must be the nice weather for sleeping. just wanna go to work chop chop and come back to sleep the all time away.

may the sleeping force be with u all.

2007-01-12T14:00:00.000+08:00

this week, being the slow week that it is, we can all count on 'goldenballs' to perk our week up with either some expose on his personal life or a glimpse of his footballing ability on the pitch. only this time, it is neither.

the papers, in trying its best to splash becks' 128 million pound transfer to LA Galaxy (LA who?), is missing out on the special one's smoldering feuds with the chelski management in west london big time. the latter piece of news is definitely 100x more news-worthy then yet another superstar opting to put himself out to pasture, going for 1 last big payday without any ounce of dignity left in them, which makes you wonder what those who run the media industry have for brains.

But i digress, back to topic proper.

brand beckham in its conquest for world domination, has arrived at its last frontier, the US, the land of basketball and baseball with the occasional golfballs thrown in. so how does a east london chap, who can pass a football 50 yards decently, break this market, you may ask. bearing in mind, one of the best pop music exports england has to offer, namely robbie williams, failed miserably with his newest album which was designed specifically to appeal to american (dis)taste. his marketing people can solve that, hopefully. but i certainly hope it doesnt include beckham to do some stupid things like lending his name to some american fast food chain or something to that effect.

the papers has been going on and on about the financial details of the deal, 500,000 pounds per week for 5 years, full image rights, etc etc. this may sounds cliche but, are we forgetting something very important here, that beckham at the relative young age of 31, has decided to practically give up all his sporting ambitions by crossing the atlantic? pls spare me the official line of ' wanting to bring american soccer to another level' kinda bullshit. its almost akin to insulting our collective intelligence if we were to ever buy it.here we are talking about the england captain at the recent world cup, the right foot that once brought manchester united the treble in 99, the one person who showed extreme courage to face up to the venomous abuse on a national scale in the aftermath of the '98 st ettiene red card. what went on behind the scenes, in the decision to pack it all in and head to the 'other side'?

we might never know, unless of course, the man himself signs another multi million book deal to leave and tell it all. your guess is as good as mine. but i do think he is a victim of his own success, really. an example of a poor rich man in all its glory. may he find what he seeks in the city of angels and thanks for the memories.

2007-01-03T16:57:00.000+08:00

i am finding the inability to express myself in words to be fairly frustrating. its experasting. really.

arrgh..

2006-12-26T11:52:00.000+08:00

The skies have been pouring since god knows when. dunno whether its tears of joy for the holiday season or its tears of sorrow from all the damage we inflict on the Earth.

Soooo... i managed to defer my ICT next year, kinda feeling sad cos i was originally looking forward to it as a break from my work. well...i guess its just as good la. i am just gg to keng for all its worth already. hahaha.

watched house of flying daggers on chnl U recently. its a good movie, or at least one that lets the viewer find their own meaning which makes any movie good.

end of the year, another year gone. not intending to go over my accomplishments over this past year nor am I going to count the regrets and mistakes i commited this 2006 AD. I am just going to be sanguine over this passing of the old and ushering in the new.

Happy New Year to all.

2006-12-11T18:00:00.000+08:00

sometimes, its difficult to find your own feet in the mad rush that is society. should,s vs shouldn't's. do's vs don't's. its all can get confusing sometimes. shoplifting is wrong, yet people still do it and get thrown behind bars for it every other day. alcoholism is wrong, yet we are advocating dusk to dawn clubs that serves drinks (at exhorbitant prices). maybe if we see more of widely practised wrongs, it will all just fall into place and be right. Or maybe be numb to it, be oblivious.

2006-12-08T01:45:00.000+08:00

Test test...
these few days haf been bz.. But all is good.. :)
i think my E70 is great.. But its early days yet..

2006-12-03T23:37:00.000+08:00

reason 7940 : running on a pair of cramped up legs sounds fun.

managed to finish it and took longer then expected, no thanks to the very very bad cramps that i had. :(

there are lots of things to gripe about...like the lack of deep heat along the way starting from 29km onwards and the rain and cold but i prefer to take the positives from this experience. i mean, most probably, i will never ever force myself to run thru cramps ever again. so, it an unique experience. and also walking like a penguin for the next couple of days. hahaha

maybe, in the end, it does boil down to attitude. really. who wants it more.

everything was gg according to plan ie, timing, pacing, general overall condition..till i hit 29km marker. the cramps started to come...bit by bit...left calf, rite calf, left thigh, rite thigh..in the end, cldnt really stretch well w/o other parts cramping up...haiz.. make me completed the rest of it like terry fox...limping / walking / attempting to run. so, after 6hrs later i managed to drag my ass over the finishing line. strange thing was, i felt nothing, maybe just relief or just plain indifference.

what a crazy rainy sunday.

2006-11-30T17:42:00.000+08:00

the noose is tightening around the neck. as sure as day, as steady it can be. bit by bit, moment after moment, the noose slowly grips the neck. as the clock counts down, and the inevitable nears. hands will sweat, legs will collaspe, all in resistance to the unavoidable. futility never looked so sweet.

i guess, of those that gotten outta fox river, the character i like the most wld be, T-Bags, the child-killer. he just almost always have the best lines in the show, isnt it?

utd wasted a chance to put more points between themselves and chelsea over the weekend. all is not lost yet, cos i believe that this year's title race WILL not be such an non-event like last year. so maybe goal difference might come into the picture.

2006-11-22T18:29:00.000+08:00

life has been slowly but surely picking up speed this few days in every aspect. just dunno when it will end with a well-deserved break.

the marathon is next next week. am i ready for it? i would say yes. am i looking forward to it? maybe not so...well. maybe not totally not lookin forward to it but maybe the enthu level have dropped a notch.

jz's mom passed on, and other then inducing me to think how my world will collaspe without my mom, there was this interesting qn that popped up when we were catching up while waiting for the kueh ji and jz da man to come over to talk to us. will talk abt the qn in depth some other time.

saw some old sec skool frens at the funeral too, realised that jz n i do really go back a long way altho we arent tt close as u wld assume with a frenship tt long. maybe we dun really fit in with each other.

toking abt fitting in, it seems kinda difficult to fit in , at least for me, in new places, situations, people and even with things.... but i do my best hahaha.

all in all, life goes on and i am still in the process of catching up with it. like it or not, we are not going to win the race with life, as a whole.

那是醉生夢死　才能熬成的苦
愛如潮水　我忘了我是誰　至少還有你哭

2006-11-18T13:35:00.000+08:00

have had an enjoyable birthday this past week. just wanna say a word of thanks to those that took the effort to remember my birthday and the special one who managed to spend time with me despite her busy schedule.

Thanks, dearie.

菊花殘滿地傷
妳的笑容已泛黃
花落人斷腸
我心事靜靜躺

2006-11-13T06:18:00.000+08:00

early morning sun on my back.
with heart heavy and steps leaden.
i moved my sorry ass down the steps.
steps deep into hell unknown.

wat have i gotten myself into?
into the unknown i venture,
is no new venture
is this wat i sought
for after all,
all i know is i dunno.

the strength to go on is absent,
the will to stay is non-existent,
may some1 pity me and show me the path,
to nirvana gained.

simple things, i like alot.
yet, its always more than meets the eye.
a simple aye n nay, ripples thru time like
no other.

bad verse is heinous crime, and i am guilty of it all.
i rest my case. for now.

2006-11-06T11:03:00.000+08:00

hmm...brand new week...at least from my perspective..but impt thing is, i am clean for 1 week le! its a start, a modest start, and i will take strength from this modest beginning and strive on! ha!

man utd won, liverpool won, west ham won, SPURS WON! hahahaha! UTD's top of the table again! (these past few weeks dun really count as its only GD) woohooo! who cares about cophengan now? haha.

gotten myself a new handphone. gotten a lobang for full season of prison break. life is good....life is so damn good that i hope murphy dun come and find me with his law. :P

2006-11-01T13:59:00.000+08:00

yupz, work has started to peak again..shit...watever happened to the supposed year end lull?? shucks...

in a way its good, kips me on the straight and narrow...be the boring idiot tt i am. thus no more clubbing, drinking, sc2000, sc3000 etc etc.

to top it all off...told me self to keep off alcohol this week. been clean since mon! haha. 4 more days to go....somehow something tells me the remaining 4 days will be the hardest of it all to pass. Oh, ticket outta Alcohol Anonymous, quik come to me now.

well...start of Nov means year-end, festivities, and all what not is all coming in... been a big year for me. felt my mental age went up a few years.. but physical age...well..maybe more then the proportionate amount. lolz.

2006-10-30T14:35:00.000+08:00

most of the times, its diff to make everyone happy. actually, its practically impossible. so we nid to choose to make certain ppl happy.

thats the tricky part. what should the criteria be? even if the criteria is settled upon, the ways to make a person happy are numerous. which one to apply? one man's meat is another's poison.

in the end, things are meant to be broken. then fixed up. then broken again. then fixed up yet again.

rooney's 21st birthday week yielded him his 1st hat-trick of league career. in fact, its the 1st hat trick of this season! wonderful goals too.

pain beckons, for i am seriously comtemplating if i shld really go fix myself up. fix myself up real good. then again, waiting for messages can be a real pain in the ass too. a pain that cant be fixed, just that little bit out of reach.

da pledge, the turn, le prestige, who cares about the man in the box? i really dig christian bale's character in 'the prestige' shows the duality of a person. very well done. of coz, it at least proves that it isnt just because 'he is a man' that the character has two loves.

two loves, which to choose and which to keep.....a great question demanding a equally great answer. my bike or my ball?

2006-10-23T10:47:00.000+08:00

sometimes, i take a listen to the songs / raps by eminem and think, how the hell does he gets all the angst from? from his failed marriage? from his crap single parent childhood? from his being discriminated against in a black dominated sector of the music industry?

of coz, he can either just shove it down his throat and stomach it all inside or 'just lose it' and broadcast it to the world through his albums. in a way, its good to give attention to the poor plight that some of us face in the bad times. but my question is, will that be enuff to solve the underlying cause of it all? can publicity help those in need? can over exposure in the media solve the causes of their current sad state?

i personally doubt so. reason being, if all was well and good, everyone shld be happy and media attention should be focused on finding out which celebrity went for a nose job etc etc...that would be more fun anytime...hahahahhahahaha... "/

P.S: can't really string any coherent logical thoughts together these days. dunno wats wrong also. haiz, better get my act together soon if not, i am just so going to die on dec 3.

2006-10-12T12:05:00.000+08:00

do you have the time,to listen to me whine?
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
time grabs me by the wrist, directs me where to go.
summer has come and past, wake me up when september ends.
my shadow's the only one who walks beside me.
i walk a lonely road, the only one i ever known
i am the son of rage and love
to fall in love and fall in debt
to alcohol and cigarettes and mary jane
to keep me insane while doing someone's else's cocaine
Its something unpredictable
but in the end its right
i hope you have the time of your life
Grasping to control
So you better hold on

-------- courtesy of assorted GREEN DAY songs.

2006-10-09T09:51:00.000+08:00

I am having a sore throat, makes me feel like just calling in sick today. Yet, there is urgent stuff i need to finish today. The urge was strong, really strong. The imagery of me waking up on the noon.

Here I am, wishing and waiting for time to pass me by, as swift as a swell channel, taking me along with it......

Oh, just a footnote, saw this full page advertorial in the Straits Times by the hospice association of singapore or something like tt. It was about Death. Morbid the topic may be, i really lurvvvvvvve tt advert. U all shld read it. I had fun and had a smile, a wisp of a smile at the end of it. U should too, for its only fair to the writer.

2006-10-06T10:28:00.000+08:00

KT Tunstall - Other Side Of The World

Over the sea and far away
She's waiting like an Iceberg
Waiting to change,
But she's cold inside
She wants to be like
the water,

All the muscles tighten in her face
Buries her soul in one embrace
They're one and the same
Just like water

Then the fire fades away
But most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world
to me

On comes the panic light
Holding on with fingers
and feelings alike
But the time has come
To move along

Then the fire fades away
But most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world

Can you help me?
Can you let me go
And can you still love me
When you can't see me anymore

Then the fire fades away
most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world
Ohh.... the other side of the world
You're.... the other side of the world
To me.

2006-10-02T21:27:00.000+08:00

although 'singapore dreaming' isnt like the average typical jack neo local blockbuster, i hope it doesnt be box office poison like so many other local movies.

i, for one, find it a very very meaningful movie. it made me think / anticipate come what may in the not so future future.

would i be a corporate whore, selling my life to the highest bidder to fund my ever budgeoning expenses? or would i be contented with a fixed abielt modest income enough to cover my expenses?

if the lesson u take away from this movie is, well...

2006-09-30T20:32:00.000+08:00

the yellow ribbon project is a worthwhile project indeed. it helps ex-convicts to reintegrate into our society. a society which can be mercilessly unforgiving sometimes.

in our own selfish chase for the bigger better deal, the idea is to step on and above everyone else to finish top of the pile. in such a scenario, where does the ex-convicts stand? faced with such bleak future, the temptation to revert to their criminal ways are great and abundant. Wldn't that be at a greater cost to society?

of coz, it wld be childish and naive to believe in a utopian world where everyone accepts anyone. you and i are not born perfect and never will be. having said tt, a balance between these 2 extremes is very attainable.

in a way, the yellow ribbon project is trying to attain such a balance in my opinion. to increase the number of employers willing to take in ex-convicts to a certain acceptable level would have meant that the project is a success already. this is due to the fact that there is still widespread disdain towards ex-convicts in many many segments of our society. i have witnessed countless examples and personally, i feel totally sick of such behaviour. to quote one of my ex-colleague, ' cho kam eh, mah si lang, mah si wu bei bor eh ' . a rough translation would be that 'ex-convicts deserve to be treated the same way as normal ppl as they are humans made up of flesh n blood just like u and me.'

'to err is human' goes the maxim and the ability to learn form our past mistakes should be given the utmost importance rather then the punishment meted out and the stigma tt such punishment carries. how many of us can lay claim to a life free of mistakes and second chances?

so today being the end of the campaign, i wonder how much the impact would be on our society and how seamless the transition from prison to society can be for our society ,at times, is a scarier place then behind bars.

2006-09-29T11:21:00.000+08:00

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh gawddddddddddddd, is it so difficult to toe the straight and narrow? gosh, i nid some help here.

still pondering shld i make the trip dwn to queensway to get the pair of shoes tt i want. cos other places that i have been to, the design is still around but there is no more stock for my size.....DAMN! why such things always happen? haiz, blame it on my pair of duck feet.

all rite, on other fronts this week, have been doing the things i wanna do since long, like, servicing my bike. while maintaining her, the thot of buying a new bike came across my mind. hahahahahaha. shld i or shld i not? hmmmm........

work front is all smooth sailing with no storms in sight. and tt is good! hahaha. shucks.....

met up with some dtoo, panadol man, and hunag and they seem to be in snug jobs...good for them! mtg them for mos next sat....apparently towkay hunag is treating...but a shaker of salt is needed... its been a long time with these dudes... seeing them recount their aussie tales makes me wonder wat wld haf been if i did my degree in aussieland...hmmmm......

time now to brainstorm wat shld i have for lunch now... ciaoz.

2006-09-27T14:42:00.000+08:00

'Cause the house always wins. Play long enough, you never change the stakes. The house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet and you bet big, then you take the house. '

----- Danny Ocean (Ocean's 11)

Always liked this quote.

Maybe its because I have always been a risk taker?

2006-09-21T12:04:00.000+08:00

back with a review on the new jay chou album 'still fantasy'

basically, its still of the same style as the previous albums with its fusion of rap, zhong guo feng and slow ballands. this successful formuala seems to be in line for a change if not, it just might go stale in my opinion.

personal favorite tracks are 'ting ma ma de hua' and 'ju hua tai'.

the lyrics of the latter is very very well-penned imho. of coz, i am no master of the chinese language but even for a layman like me, to get the inherent sadness of the song means, the lyricist must be doing something rite.

'ting ma ma de hua' has a catchy tune to it and has the jay chou signature of dropping pop culture references into his songs. in this case, jacky cheung and his breakout hit 'wen bie' and chow yun fatt as god of gamblers. the fact that i was already old enuff then to 'appreciate' such events when they happened then makes this song that much more endearing to me. not forgetting the message of being fillial to your parents that this song is putting across.

alrity, off to enjoy the songs yet agian now.....

2006-09-20T15:52:00.000+08:00

what do i want in life?

i myself still do not know EXACTLY what i want. VAGUE picture i can grasp but EXACT image, haiz....

tis is bad, very very bad.

BUT at least i know i cant continue with my current lifestyle and thats comforting to know.

2006-09-11T14:18:00.000+08:00

things i have done this past week, in no order of (de)merit:

- drank way too much beer / alcohol
- forgo my fitness regime
- forgotten my vitamin regime
- ate way too much early morning teochew porridge
- stik a chainstay guard on my bike, finally.
- comtemplating a job switch
- setting my quest for a class 3 into motion
- spend sometime shopping for my clothes, unbelievable but true
- din manage to play mahjong :(

thats all i wld list out before i bore the shit outta myself.

things i am PLANNING on doing this coming week, again in no order of importance / frivolity:

- meet up with some frens for a unalcoholic drink
- going back to training for stan chart
- remember to take my vitamins and watch my diet
- to buy the clothes / shoes that i have in mind
- bring my bike for an overhaul, or maybe i can do it myself
- study and start looking for an driving instructor
- play mahjong!

seriously, out of those that i have listed out, the most do-able one wld be the running part. all u nid is a pair of shoe and some time and maybe some music on the go and all is set. the rest seems to be dependant on various mutually exclusive factors that would only come together if a tornado can go thru a hangar and leave an airplane in its wake.

recently, i gotten the chance to savour some singing by a sec sch fren of mine. the so called 'out-coming' of his band was pretty decent. with a pretty good-looking gal in tow, a guest singer of his, good looks coupled with good voice and the ability to carry a tune, i thot i saw the winner of the next project superstar. hahahahahaha

anyway, but i digress. back to the point abt my fren's band's outcoming. this fren of mine, we had a so called clinque of frens who had time for everything else except studies back in sec sch days. even then, this fren of mine was kinda tight with me, he has his own troubles and we 2 were always at the front of the class, physically at least. but now, its evident that both of us have gone our different ways in terms of everything. Somehow, this might be the very reason that i am still thankful that he keeps us in his invite list for his xmas chalet every year. it at least gives me a chance to be nostalgic and discuss abt the wat ifs....

isnt it ironic that time being an invention of man, be something that imprisons him till no end??

2006-09-08T16:07:00.000+08:00

blardy hell..... i kid u all not, i woke up today at 1305hrs. damn!

2006-08-24T17:45:00.000+08:00

tired,
is all i can say and feel.
liberation,
is what i see yet not feel.

nirvana, i always seek,
nirvana, is what i shall never attain.

the fulility of life, the never ending cycles,
has taken its toll on me.

what good is a life plainly lived?

what good is this life?
if you can't see its silver linings.
if all you can see is doom and gloom,
what good is this life?

routines i cant escape from,
happiness i cant get enuff of,
habits i cant run away from,
joy i always long for.
this is the life i crave for.

2006-08-24T02:43:00.000+08:00

is life about waiting or making things happen?
should living my life be sretching myself to the maximum?
is life about having the best and the most?
isnt life about finding happiness?
is life all about knocking down what u have build and then starting all over again?

life is such a mystery and with lots of unanswered questions.

2006-08-21T23:41:00.000+08:00

innocence begets experience.
cruelty begets kindness.

how far would u agree with those 2 sentences.

for me, i would more or less agree with those 2 as its most probably wat i would see myself in most of the time.

to answer cruelty with kindness, that would be the highest level of tolerance that anyone can go, and i certainly wanna attain that level. i have seen it happen quite a few times so far. although there is always the doubt that there is more then it meets the eye, happenings behind the scenes and such, there seems to be little motivation behind certain acts except pure kindness. pure kindness of the heart in reaction to unjustified cruelty dealt out to the same giver of kindness.

i can see that i am just beginning to understand this world that i live in all over again and i hope i enjoy the ride.

2006-08-14T12:24:00.000+08:00

Magical
i have always wanted to do a marathon at least once in this lifetime (along with lots of other things) and the feeling of getting it done finally this year seems to bring with it an unexplainable buzz that is uplifting and magical.

my life's actually pretty much ok by and large. have slowly settled into the working patterns and although it means giving up some sunday soccer and mid week drink binge, i am glad it turned out the way it turned out.

finally gotten a digital camera that i can carry around (or at least i try to) and so its me picking up photography all over again. its been so long since i tried taking some decent photographs. expect to see some pictures soon.

might be changing the layout of this blog soon enough as its getting stale IMO.

Must make a mental note to take gooooooooood care of myself, to keep myself in a pristine state, mind and body. I am sure, the banks will be glad to hear that. :P

2006-08-12T13:06:00.000+08:00

life is just like the football in a football game, u have no direction on where it will go and its more or less dependant on external forces. given a certain set of situations, the reactions are more or less the same, leading to the same consequences.

'shit happens' this is very apt phrase to describe my outlook on life nowadays, shit happens everywhere anytime in almost every other shapes ans sizes. frankly, i am tired of 'shit happens' at work. in life. on me.

so, u all can safely deduce that i am in fact a very 'shitty' person. hahahhahahhahaa

2006-08-07T16:53:00.000+08:00

quiet desparation, have you had your dose today?

2006-08-02T23:25:00.000+08:00

Memories form a huge part of our lifes. Memories can be collective shared and individually treasured. What if, someone comes along and snatches your memories, good and bad, away from you for good?

Would Life be better? As you forget all the hurtful and sad things that was in the past or would Life just be the same old mundane routine that we all face everyday?

The answer to the question would be simple. Regardless of life being better or worse for one with memories, one thing is certain, life will not be good for those close to the person.

How would a son feel if his own mother can't recognise himself as his son? How would a wife feel when the man who shares her bed for over half of her lifetime can't seem to call out her name 1st thing she see him?

By now, maybe some of you might have guessed what am I describing here. Some might not, but its ok.

Alzheimer's Diseases robs countless people of their previous memories, depriving them of the essence of this life on earth and causing untold amounts of grief to the kin of sufferers. Yet, there is not much awareness given to Alzheimer's, as compared to other diseases like liver failure, AIDS, and malnutrition.

As the world's ageing population continues to grow, Alzheimer's will surely be on the rise as it occurs mostly within the elderly group. We should pour some the senseless funds used on warfare to research and try to find a cure for this crippling disease.

2006-07-28T13:32:00.000+08:00

well, wat can i say, i gotten dragged all the way back in time to a time when i was light-headed (read not too much hair), and very much carefree.

how i miss those times. the regrets, the joys, the disappointments and everything else tt came my way this few years,(read uni life).

with a dammed scroll, ppl expect me to turn from a half past six joker to serious, matured adult. maybe they shld get their brains checked, cos ppl rarely change overnite and ppl definitely dun change for the better or worse cos of material things they own.

well, but i digress. back to my 'time-travelling'

certain things shall not be mentioned here but somehow, after these few days, i haf started to feel more alive, more like way back before uni life.

man! it just feels so good to have my life back. or maybe just to start having a life.

2006-07-24T13:06:00.000+08:00

hmmm....life's kinda blank and routine now. its end of the month and the start of another is soon...well..the cycle just repeats and repeats and repeats itself. its so tiring and so exciting as well. tiring cos its monotonous. exciting cos new and unexpected emergency tends to crop up almost every other time, even truer than Murphy's Law.

Routine is a bane to me and it makes me complacent. smug in my place makes me a lazy person, maybe thats y the cork ups come abt. well....just learn from my mistakes and take it postively then...

quite a few people has been telling me this, and i quote verbatim,

'remember, nothing in this world is impossible.'

the explainations following this quote varies differently from the persons who told me. but well...maybe i will sit on it and digest all their explainations abit more b4 really bloggin on it. after all, it seems too good to be true.

a funny idea creeped into my head while i was cycling the other nite, what would i do, when i am have an infinite number / amount of everything. happiness, time, money, power, love, sadness, grief etc etc. would i share it with the ppl of the world to make the world a better place? gif it to the needy, some grief to those happy larks, some joy to the depressed, some money to those living under the poverty line etc etc. Or would i just use all of it to my own enrichment? ( a bit redundant actually, considering i have an indefinte amount of everything.) it was only then i realised, it aint easy to be god. hats off to the person upstairs. he's really the man (men).

oh, the utd jersey looks not as good as the previous season one.....so i intend to buy the previous one. anyone with the same thinking? hehz.

2006-07-19T09:55:00.000+08:00

孤枕難眠

告訴我你等待的是我
告訴我你不要再錯過
你閃爍的眼眸彷彿有些話始終無法說出口
你快對我說別害怕沒有把握

告訴我你曾失去太多
告訴我你也害怕寂寞
我知道你無法去擺脫過去失敗挫折的傷痛
你快對我說別總是不知所措

想著你的黑夜我想著你的容顏
反反覆覆孤枕難眠
告訴我你一樣不成眠
告訴我你也盼我出現

想著你的黑夜我想著你的容顏
反反覆覆孤枕難眠
告訴我你想我千百遍
告訴我一切都會實現

what a classic from 周華健. his earlier songs were good for easy listening and gained him popularity. He is good.

2006-07-05T11:15:00.000+08:00

just listened to MR Brown's lastest podcast, the one titled i am a singaporean, it just makes me think tt we seem to be a society of mindless robots being told wat to do and wat to feel.

how can 1 even start to do anything if 1 is so mixed-up and screwed? maybe we are beyond clear definition, a higher step beyond maybe?

*more of it latersss

2006-06-28T13:30:00.000+08:00

8 teams are left now. out of these 8 teams, 1 will emerge as the world champion for the next 4 years.

outta the rd of 16 matches, i watched the germany,england,argentina,france,italy and brazil match. and from this limited sampling of the teams on show via the telly. i shall pass my judgement! wahahahaha

Germany: very impressed with their attacking play for the 1st 4 games. defensive play is atrocious. lucky to be let off the hook by sweden. argentina is another different matter tho. just ask the serbians. hahaha.

Argentina: good all ard in attack n defense. but the thing i like abt them is actually their accurate passing and keeping possession of the ball. they have the personnel to win it with maybe only their GK being a bit weak. i rate them to beat germany. only just.

England: god save the queen, so they sing b4 every match. maybe they were wishing tt for themselves. inept performances till now and yet in the last 8. either they are lucky or god wants them to win this edition of the fifa world cup. either way, they shld overcome a weakened portugal. penalty shootouts, anyone?

portugal: flair team in attack, ugly scrapping team in defense. a potent ugly/beautiful pairing up till the ref went card crazy in the rd of 16. hard done by the 2 red cards and injury to ronaldo.(read tt he wants to go real madrid. wat a mercenary bitch, serves him right!) weakened portugal side, tho with scolari at the helm, the law of averages says he will finally lose to eriksson this time ard.

italy: 3 time world champion, last being in the year of my birth. easy path to the semis (read ukraine). and maybe to the final as well.....they might be adding their 4th trophy this year. after all, gg to the courts back home proves a strong incentive to stay in germany for as long as possible.

ukraine: surprise package of this world cup. most probably haf outstayed their welcome by producing such a boring draw against the swiss. i say they will lose to italy, the matter of the margin being decided by shevchenko's finishing on the day itself.

brazil: everyone's favourite to retain the title. but france is a formidable opponent. zizou still doing the job. ribery is way under-rated now. might just spring a surprise on them. i think will go only as far as semis.

France: last but not least, last won in 98, with mostly the same cast. hahaha. meaning, the team is FULL of experience and maybe a bit short on stamina. hahahaha. but they binned a youthful spain and well....i see them to repeat their proudest feat so far in germany.

my predictions:

Germany 1 (Klose) - 2 (Saviola,Riquelme)Argentina

England 2 (J.Cole, Gerrad) - 2 (Figo, Pauleta) Portugal
England to win on Shootout.

Italy 2 (Pirlo, Toni) - 0 Ukraine

Brazil 1 (Kaka) - 2 (Henry, Trezguet) France
After Extra Time.

Semis

England 1 (Beckham) - 0 France

Argentina 2 (Messi, Tevez) - 2 (Gilardino 2) Italy
Argentina win in shootout

Final

England - Argentina

ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

2006-06-15T13:23:00.000+08:00

saw this article today in the new paper regarding the ride of silence.

this ride of silence thingy is to commeorate those cyclists who died on the roads. i find it very meaningful firstly, i love to cycle and secondly, i got some close shaves on the road before either on bike or my pedal powered bike.

i mean, people can die in lots of ways but dying on the roads astride the bike/bicycle is one of the worst. it ranks up there with drowning in my book. imagine this, u fall off yer bike, then u get dragged a few metres under the wheels of some random vechile on the road (read cement mixers, buses, trailers). not too glamorous way to depart our lovely world eh?

on the flip side, y not we have a drink of silence, to remember those who lost their lifes after losing the battle with the bottle? we cld have a pub with no music on, dim lighting, and everyone just drinks in silence, free flow somemore! Or a silent smoke? go organise it in some ulu place and everyone can go there to smoke in silence. hahaha..you get my point.

sometimes, i just think that we ppl just have too much time on our hands to organise such stuffs. ppl choose to risk their lifes on the roads for a reason. some do it for practical reasons like for transportation and some do it just for the kick of it, just like me. i like the adrenaline rush when buses rumble 9cm from u on the roads. i like the wind on my face, the chill that it brings. i like the feeling of being able to accelerate faster then a crappy 1L car. i like it all, and i like it so much that i wun waste my time to participate in such rides of silence.

work has been a killer. it has totally murdered me. and the shiity thing is.....tt it is getting away scott free? meaning every1 just goes, 'work ah? ok lah...no choice', 'nvm la...work only mah, dunno then spend more time on it lahhh'. NO one actually said, 'dun care lah, go relax 1st, u r workin, not selling yer life away.'
ABSOLUTLY no one. Hmmmmmmm..... no wonder we are now working much more harder then 5-8 yrs ago as a nation, according to the general consensus.

Singapore, a vibrant and exciting city? compared to GOAL 2010, it actually seems like a piece of cake. And that is saying alot, isn't it?

peace out.

2006-06-12T13:37:00.000+08:00

the world cup is here!hahah.england won 1-0!

actually, its been a long time they won the opening match of a world cup. in 98 iirc. beckham was dropped for tt game infamously, now, he provided the 'assist' for the winning goal...things in life really do tend to come full circle. the only variable is maybe the duration of time needed. well, u lose some, u win some. watya expect?

will be backing england for this world cup, armed with the knowledge that they have the strongest squad in years....................and that they will fail once again at the crucial stages (read KO stages) :D

lets sit back and let the games begin, shall we?

2006-06-06T10:56:00.000+08:00

weekend was a blur and what i remembered was:
playing majong w bitch, disciple and jw.
meetin up with br n zc.
back at home,waking up.
out immed, to meet the usual bunch for kickabout (was late, wats new?).
lunch, extended lunch when gm announced his arrival.
pool with the usual bunch of pool peeps.
dinner w family.
civ 4.
sleep.

yeah, i crashed again and the remmants of the the weekend still remains with me.

2006-06-01T00:17:00.000+08:00

i guess most of you all have viewed the (in)famous hongkong bus uncle clip? ok, for all intents and purposes here, i shall assume u had. (its widely available on youtube btw)

first of all, i can't understand the uncle's frustrations with the teen's (he looks like one) tapping of his shoulder. whats wrong with it?? Did it really interfered with his conversations so much that it warrant such a long telling off?

it might if he was conducting a 3G videocall (eg of why 3G will not take off in sg) but from the looks of it, he was far from it. Apparently, in tirade later on, he mentioned something along the lines of , you have pressure, i have pressure kind of argument. of which i take to mean, both of them are under immense amount of pressure, either work, social or even personal / spousal.

In other words, both of them, are teetering on the edge for a very long time and his conversation pushed the teen over the edge and prompted teen to tap uncle on shoulder which in turn pushed him off the edge as well.

pretty nifty situation here, don't you think?

i say, give us a break, dai lou. you are just a grumpy middle aged man frustrated rather then pressurised. And u vent yer frustrations on the defenceless teen kid that politely asked u to lower your volume. (no one wanna knows about the contents of yer conversation, in case you din noe.)

did i just say defenceless young teen?

ok, i take that back. which young impressionable defenceless young teen would *gasp* tap an old uncle sitting in front of him? with the intent to shut him up to boot???

i salute the young man.whole heartedly. then again, i guess he must be seeking some attention by posting the video up.............so that just makes him one of the many many idiots that are providing me with endless entertainment on youtube in my book.

nonetheless, i still salute him. For making my afternoon a little bit more bearable.

2006-05-26T14:08:00.000+08:00

life goes on, in good times and bad.
give it your best shot, close your eyes,
and hope it wouldn't come up short.

what is done is done, a mirror broken pieces don't make.
forgive and forget if possible and everyday is a new possibility.
we will age and die, for we can't win the race with time.
live for the moment i say, for it wouldn't be around for all day.

2006-05-22T16:38:00.000+08:00

oh manz.........the lack of the presence of results is getting me down..........

BIG TIME.

2006-05-19T13:54:00.000+08:00

i guess Ethan Hunt's fact file hidden somewhere in the bowels of the IMF archives would goes something like this.

Name: Ethan Hunt
Date of Birth: xx/xx/xxxx
PLace of Residence:xx/xx/xxxx
Height:5'6

Comments: A technically gifted field agent who has distinguished himself with 3 previous missions where he was left out to dry by his superiors (proposes to eradicate such superiors in future). He cleared his name all 3 times and performed well up to the mark in the various 'impossible' missions assigned to him.

Personal Life Evaluation: From a somewhat athletic pursuits like natural rock climbing, he has progressed to holding family parties and walking the dog. This is somewhat consistent with his new marital status. A need for a sedentary lifestyle was the reason behind his retirement from field duty to instructional duties. Seems to have this continual delusion that he can actually lead a normal life away from the field operations work.

Operation Methods: Has shown a penchant for high risks actions and a distinct dislike for outright confrontation with a reliance for diversions to distract enemies. Likes to jump off roof tops of skyscrapers in the middle of big metropolies (maybe a left over from his BASE jumping days). Intel support vans and getaway helicopters are all part of his regular ensemble in such operations. Explosions and massive traffic mayhem will inevitably be caused by his getaway and massive efforts to cover up such incidents have proven to be cost ineffective. State of the art gagdets are a must, with the self retracting drop line being a favourite.

Strengths: linguist(somewhat), athletic, intelligent, low centre of gravity, daring and able to improvise.

Weakness: emotionally attached easily, easily agitated, making things difficult for himself and his team.

Overall analysis: Said agent has proven his mettle over the years and the board sees no reason to pull him from active service. The wife can wait, his country can't.

2006-05-16T00:36:00.000+08:00

this is good stuff....not only ren mei ge tian...this is ren mei ge tian x2!! this is 2 good things coming tog!

of coz, i know i abit slow......but the fact is at least i gotten to discover such a joy. makes life all the more bearable by a bit.

2006-05-14T01:29:00.000+08:00

time....changes almost everything and it can get frustrating at times.

one of the times is now and the best part is that alot of very different and non linked factors contributed to it.

on 1 hand, i know its part of life, yet on the other, i just feel so frustrated and angry. frustrated at my inability to change it. angry at the impossible situation that i find myself in. u can say that i am in a funk rite now. a rut. whatever u call it, u get the idea.

yet, last nite, i had one of my better nites in a long while. company was good, talk was good, the alcohol flowed, and the music and venue was top notch. the only downside is that i was kinda hungry thru out... i dig 54!

now is the time of my life and yet i dun really feel it. is it really true that youth is wasted on the young?

nites out these few weeks, have been an eyeopener for me in many many aspects. somehow or rather, i noticed lotsa things that goes on in sg in the small hours and its kinda mars my mental image i have of kids....and adults..in general singaporeans. but fair play to them, after all, the law only takes effect on offenders if they are apprehended.which isnt a ringing endorsement of our dear boys in blue eh? where is vincent ng when u nid him? or even constable ah cai?? lol.

i am hungry, and shld go forage for food.

ciaoz.

2006-05-08T12:05:00.000+08:00

hmm.... the end of an era? the start of a new one? hmmm....food for thought...

cut from the shackles,
like a pheonix i will rise,
from the ashes of yore,
to heights never been before.

better not think too much, it spoils the beauty of the moment.

down with a sore throat. must be the bad weather these few days. of cos, the foul weather being as guilty as my wanton 'celebrations' for the end exams. hmmm...all in all, i reap wat i sow. so gonna 'enjoy' my sore throat for all it is worth this coming week.

the progress package seems to hi-lite my tendency to overspend, or at least being poor in planning my finances. now i know how highly paid footballers can squander their semmingly endless fortunes away. wat a price to learn this lesson.

the elections came and went. the victors were more or less the same old few though i thought the opposition did put up a good fight. actually, in my opinion, both sides were pretty crappy in terms of putting up concrete plans for the near future. PAP was mostly about upgrading this upgrading that, opposition was all about checks and balances ( as if 1 or 2 seats in a 84 seat parliment is ). wat i want to hear wld be how on earth are they gg to put in programs to help the ppl tat cant catch up with our society. how to find jobs for the lesser educated, how to help them deal with the endless bills that prevents them from breaking this vicious cycle of poverty. but i neither heard nor seen anything remotely connected to such issues....so maybe next time i hope i might hear some concrete practical plans for a change.

after all, there is only so much ideology one can take and bread and butter issues certainly takes precedence over ideology. at least in my book.

LKY's own talk show (branded as a dialouge) was hilarious and sobering at the same time. funny was the way he shot down those youngsters, wat chance has these youngsters have against a seasoned politician/lawyer like lao lee in the 1st place? sobering part was that LKY is still ever so alert and lucid despite his advanced years when some of his (still-living) peers might be bed-ridden or has lost some of their reasoning powers. hats off to LKY, he deserves the respect.

England's World Cup hopes died at the precise moment when 82 minutes into the match at stamford bridge between chelsea and manchester united, a certain ogre look alike lad suffered a misfortunate double fracture in his right foot. No 1 can replace him. absolutely no one. not even gerrard, lampard, joe cole, beckham, carrick. he is the one irreplaceable cog in the the wheel and this had to happen to him. God save the 3 Lions now. For they need all the luck to just survive the group stages now.

2006-04-19T16:11:00.000+08:00

http://images.ucomics.com/images/pdfs/sadams/godsdebris.pdf

2006-04-16T12:12:00.000+08:00

Ambiguity makes people nurse grievance
The evidence of love can not be found
When should I go forward? When should I give up?
I can’t even bring up the courage to hug you

I can only come with you to this far;
there are still some things that we can not do
We’re more than friends, but we’re not a couple yet
The scenery afar seems to be raining soon

Should I cry or not? Is it me or you that think too much?
I’m very not convinced, and I also started to suspect
The person in front of me, is he the same, real you?
Ambiguity makes people nurse grievance
The evidence of love can not be found
When should I go forward? When should I give up?
I can’t even bring up the courage to hug you

Ambiguity makes people become greedy;
until the waiting has lost its meaning
However I and you are not able to write the endings
Let the beauty of pity stay here

do ya agree with this chinese to english translated piece of lyric?

2006-04-09T02:55:00.000+08:00

so i have been trying my utmost best at being a bad and nonsensical poet. and i am sorry abt it. haha.

was reading some article on the usage of how tourists can rejuvenuate an area and in the process of it, destroy it...well..at least tts wat i think i can comprhend from the article..

and while readin tis article, thru some irrelevant thots..gotten me to...nearing slp..

so...i shld go grab some slp? or slog on?

haiz...between the devil and the deep blue sea...i wish there can be a 3rd choice, one tt is to my heart's desire.

but reality isnt to wat my heart desires. i wld have to alter myself to suit reality. reality wld not twist itself to suit me. a simple fact. a simple fact that is so true. so true that it almost hurts. the truth hurts. most of the time at least.

u might call me a pessimist. i think i am more pragmatic then anything else. kiasu,kiasee i am not. and so makes me a problematic pragmatic. dun worry, time and reality will sort me out. sooner rather then later.

2006-04-07T16:37:00.000+08:00

the yarns that i spin can go on and on and on for ages. but even the best story tellers would use up their reserves of stories someday.

the well is dry, and the drought is neigh,
from far far away, i sighted you.
be here now, yarns aplenty i have,
just to share between, me and the world over.

and so the yarns dried up.

2006-04-04T02:37:00.000+08:00

忘記你 Beyond

曲：黃家駒詞：周耀輝

忽然發覺走在台北的街頭
這裡有跟香港一樣的時候
我在陌生的城市
要忘記熟悉的你

怕黑暗的我走進便利店裡
還不知道要買什麼的東西
我在陌生的城市
抽一根熟悉的煙

忘記你
美麗的眼睛溫柔的聲音
我答應忘記你
脆弱的背影我們的故事
我努力忘記你

凌晨時分打開今天的報紙
可否看到留在背後的故事
我在陌生的城市
忍不住熟悉的淚

忘記你
美麗的眼睛溫柔的聲音
我答應忘記你
脆弱的背影我們的故事
我努力忘記你

找不到回飯店的路我以為已迷失
想不到從櫥窗看見我自己恍如隔世

忘記你
美麗的眼睛溫柔的聲音
我答應忘記你
脆弱的背影我們的故事
我努力忘記你
忘記你…… 我不能忘記你

2006-03-27T13:39:00.000+08:00

man utd won 3-0 last night, a stroll in the park, a routine win for them. as i sit in front of the tv taking it all in, i thot: wtf is man utd doing this season?

i mean, there in front of me is a good team, one that is capable of winning trophies. ok, so utd gotten the carling cup, but i am talking abt the big ones here, ie. CL and EPL.

back to my question, is it becos of not being consistant in terms of results? or is it a problem of motivation? luck? tactical naviety on the management part? i wld say, its all a bit of everything. things and events beyond utd's control have contrived to make the carling cup the climax of this season.

lets just hope next season will be better, in terms of trophies and gameplay.

--------------------

recently, i got hit by a big big realisation of myself. this realisation was that i dun own a comb. upon this realisation, i backtracked in time and thot reallllllyyyyy hard when was the last time i had a comb under my list of possessions. my backtracking came to no avail. zilch, zero memory of a comb in my possession. just to make a rough guess, it wld have been in early jc times when i last COMBED my hair. quite impressive, unbelievable rite? but me being me, i just get by without a comb. its quite simple really....even more so tt i dun really like to keep my hair long, its the weather u see. well....maybe i will now consider seriously to get a comb when one catches my eyes.

----------------------

now, i would really want to know wat the future holds for me. of cos, then again, this goes against my belief that when u show someone their future, they would have no future from that moment on, powerless to change it and unwilling to change it.

despite all this, i still stand by my inexplainale urge to wanna know my future. for the simple fact that i am uncertain. at this point of my life, there is lots of things to be uncertain abt, jobs, debts, life's direction, goals, physical health, etc etc. so a wee bit of worry is considered quite healthy, i think.

back to my urge, u see, other then just pure uncertainity, there is another reason why i crave for the future to be reveiled now. i want to know! the thirst for knowledge, the perfect knowledge. the perfect knowledge to make the perfect decision (tho i doubt more and more abt the existence of such a thing). it would be divine to do that.

as things are rite now, the wise thing would be to let my urge die down and just get on with it. as i have done many times before with the confidence that it will die down soon enough.

-----------------------

been catching episodes of 'coupling' over chnl 18 these past couples of weeks. its a highly entertaining sitcom. altho many ppl will say that the central theme is sex, i wld say that its more of poking fun of the sterotypical profiles of both males and females view of sexuality and societal views of wats defined as right and wrong sexually. it can also be seen as a sitcom revolving ard a bunch of totally stoned, daft, socially inept people discussing everyday situations in a pub where the beer flows freely and work seems to be secondary.

do go catch 1 or 2 episodes if u can, u wun regret it, i promise. in case u tune in to catch the view of certain body parts unclothed, i am sorry to say tt u will be duly disappointed. after all, this is sg cable tv we are talking abt, u pea brained perv!

2006-03-26T01:32:00.000+08:00

i am yer quintessential sunday social footballer. trying hard to translate what i see on the goggle box onto the court. trying it out is fine, when it ends up in laughter and smiles. but not so fine when the loving feeling of waking up early on a sunday morning fades away.

so i get bored with things easily. but i thot i would never get tired of soccer. now, i am feeling abit of it. i would even dare say that i would rather spend my sunday morning watching the sunday morning cartoons then brave the weather for a game of kickabout.

well, how fast one's thinking can change, i am amazed by myself too.

kudos to me then. or rather my fickle-minded-ness.

2006-03-18T14:02:00.000+08:00

today is a glorious saturday morning...yet i wasted it all by sleeping in. what a waste of good god-given resources. well, gonna make the most of the day by enjoying the rest of today.

did my last sentence sounds like a command for me to enjoy myself for the rest of the day? could i be able to comply with such a demand made upon myself by myself? hmm........after all, in my book, enjoyment comes forth only in unrestricted-ness. well...watever.

am settling down well in my life, a life that bears almost no resemblance when i started on my degree a few years back. now, the degree is almost in hand and yet it seems like i am not gonna to make too much use of it in the near future at least. what a waste of my time and money and not to mention the tax payers' money as well.

a 'routine' week now would be office, sch, sch,office, sch....pls note that sch days are days when i feel the inexplainable need to rest at home. hahaha.

working life, to me at least, seems decent enough. the best part is getting paid for it. it feels good to be able to accomplish somethings in life, ie: buying stuff u yearn for. it sure feels good...........until the clinche of money often dun buy u the best things life offers....well, we just gotta make do sometimes i guess.

i would like myself to make it in my so-called career in the future but it seems, to be well, a rocky road to success at the very best. can't complain, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

just a note, me not operating some MLM shit, so pls dun get the wrong idea. hahaha

It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle, it'll up the ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be allright (alright).
----THE MIDDLE

2006-03-09T23:52:00.000+08:00

after watching Shrek 2 on HBO some weeks back, I would not get it outta my head. catchy little tune isnt it?

"Accidentally In Love" by Counting Crows

So she said what's the problem baby
What's the problem I don't know
Well maybe I'm in love (love)
Think about it every time
I think about it
Can't stop thinking 'bout it

How much longer will it take to cure this
Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love (love)
Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love

Come on, come on
Turn a little faster
Come on, come on
The world will follow after
Come on, come on
Cause everybody's after love

So I said I'm a snowball running
Running down into the spring that's coming all this love
Melting under blue skies
Belting out sunlight
Shimmering love

Well baby I surrender
To the strawberry ice cream
Never ever end of all this love
Well I didn't mean to do it
But there's no escaping your love

These lines of lightning
Mean we're never alone,
Never alone, no, no

Come on, Come on
Move a little closer
Come on, Come on
I want to hear you whisper
Come on, Come on
Settle down inside my love

Come on, come on
Jump a little higher
Come on, come on
If you feel a little lighter
Come on, come on
We were once
Upon a time in love

We're accidentally in love
Accidentally in love [x7]

Accidentally

I'm In Love, I'm in Love,
I'm in Love, I'm in Love,
I'm in Love, I'm in Love,
Accidentally [x2]

Come on, come on
Spin a little tighter
Come on, come on
And the world's a little brighter
Come on, come on
Just get yourself inside her

Love ...I'm in love

the movie's opening.

the song's MTV

ENJOY...

2006-03-09T10:54:00.000+08:00

Visions, so very Bad.

I was on the way back home on a god-damn crowded bus yesterday evening. Nothing much about that, except that only the front 3/4 section of the bus is crowded, and the idiotic couple standing next to me refuses to move towards the back of the bus to enable more homeward bound working class people onto the bus. They aren't whispering sweet nothings to each each other nor were they too busy looking into each other's eyes to notice what is happening around them and yet move they didn't. Stoic as a pair of statues with lotsa baggage around, they stood immovable. fuck the pair of idiots with a major undeniable selfish streak.

Again on the same crowded and extremely insufferable bus journey home, I saw something that made me regret not bringing a camera close at hand where-ever i go. The bus was stopping at a traffic crossing with high human traffic to and fro this side of the road. There was yet another traffic crossing for the other side of thr road. Looking to pass time, I followed the herd of office warriors crossing thru the windows, my eyes followed them all the way to the road divider where they had to wait patiently ableit a few seconds for the lights to turn green to enable the crossing. Again my eyes trained on this bunch crossing the other side of the road.

Then I saw it, right there, after the last of the disgrunted corporate grunt trudged off the divider, sitting nonchalantly by the green fence lining the divider, was an old lady maybe abt 70 in her full pyjamas glory with 2 big bags besides her. Not too sure what she's doing there but it made for a powerful image. Well, the faster we move forward as a society, the more people get left behind.

My heart goes out to that lady on the divider and hopes she finds a way to catch up with the corporate crowd in crossing to the other side of the road......

2006-02-14T23:40:00.000+08:00

Love, so commercial

Today being the Feb 14 of our calendar, the day when people trip over themselves to make confessions of love, it seems a pretty fine day to blog about love.

Valentine's Day is basically a cunning distortion of an ancient bitter love story by unscrupulous merchants out to make a quick buck out of starry-eyed lovers. This suitably explains why merchants spend money to take out commercials and not so subtle reminders we find everywhere and anywhere to announce the impending Feb 14. But we all already know that.

The reasoning behind it well, maybe just a deep primal need to be loved and love and V-day lends a perfect platform for it to show. Gulit-free and socially constructed within society's own guidelines.

This kind of reasoning is the only one that i can fathom as to why perfectly sane people would fork out insane amount of money for things as mundane as fine dining and half bloom roses. What is a little bit of money annually if it means scoring valuable brownie points with the beau of your choice? Sounds alot like annual country club membership fees to me.

We had just briefly examined the demand for males, now on to the females.

Ever heard of unattached females buying themselves roses, chocolates in little heart-shaped boxes just to make themselves feel better? So that they wouldn't 'lose face'? Such tales abound as conformity is again being mercilessly used by money minded merchants to hawk their seasonal product. The market might be small now but with growing female afflunce and increasing numbers of so called 'feminist' (who can't suffer the so called indignity of opening their own car doors), this market might just see some exponential increase in the so not far future.

well, i guess i should really stop here because if i go on about it anymore, i might just convince myself that loving and to be loved is all futile and i would really dread that, wouldn't i? I would really want to keep the romanticized version of 'romantic love' somewhat intact, even if it just serves as a break from the dreary world.

'the greatest thing you will ever learn is to love and be loved in return'

2006-02-13T00:33:00.000+08:00

its the small things....

its uncanny and downright illogical the extent i can miss the big picture and the big salient points and be excited and all hyped up for the small and sometimes wrong reasons.

this trait of mine had better to stop. or its going to land me into big trouble.as shown to me in recent times, this is a very real threat.

the focus ought to be on the impt stuff....no doubt about it.

it makes perfect sense isnt it? the big picture needs to be taken care of, and if the important things are settled well and good, then the smaller and lesser stuff will and should fall into place.

all these said and thought-ed...it wld actually be good if any1 can tell me where the big picture is and where the impt stuff will be..haha

2006-01-27T01:06:00.000+08:00

recently, a couple of my friends commented that there has been an increase of sleazy reports in singaporean newspapers. various stories of underground prostitution, mistressess, and statuatory rape cases had been reported with considerable column inches in the papars.

has squeaky clean singapore cleaned into a sleaze hub overnight?

well, i doubt very much so. the reason behind such an so called 'increase' in sleazy reports would be that with the loosening of the censorship board standards, there is less of the self censorship that editors had to keep to previously. thus the increase in such reports as after all sex sells. thats an undeniable fact.

the point here being, singapore, whether u like it or not, has a seedier side to it and it has been so for as long as one can remember, with colonial roots.

2006-01-25T18:13:00.000+08:00

its so near chinese new year now but shall blog instead on football! the recent man utd vs liverpool match that i witnessed 'live' in the comforts of home.

the latest installment of this eternal rivalry was played out 3 days back. pool went into the match with a envious record of taking 13 of the 15 points on offer in the league. contrast this with utd's morale sapping derby loss the previous matchday and you were get a less then rosy picture from the utd fan's point of view.

lots of noises were heard from anfield with various players making their statement of intent, a few choice ones were, reina's conclusion that rooney isnt one of the league's best and gerrard's musings about utd not being the utd of old. with the benefit of hindsight, they do look pretty with their foot in their mouths when they make public such statements.

utd on the other hand was just soaking it all up and waiting for the chance to let their brand of football do the talking in front of their adoring fans. what an apt backdrop the theatre of dreams is to the stuff that were to be unfolded in the 90 minutes....

the start was cagey with both sides trying to suss each other out with tentative passing and not much goal mouth action. it all sprang to life near the half an hour mark when a magnificent 30 yard pass from gerrard found cisse in the utd penalty box. the ensuring flick cum shot from cisse was disappointing to say the least as it failed to beat the van der sar from close range.

it was only in the 1st minute of 1st half injury time that utd fashioned their 1st decent chance of the match. giggs' perfect ball over the top of the pool back line saw van nistelrooy run free in the box but alas, hypia did just enough to put the dutchman off and he delayed his shot thus making it nothing more then a routine save for the pool keeper.

saha's introduction at the expense of o'shea at the start of the second half showed ferguson's intentions in no uncertain terms. the closest pool came to scoring was in the 66th minute when a sissoko through ball found morientes, a substitue for the ineffective crouch, whose shot beat van der sar but ferdinard was on hand to clear from the goal line. failure to clear the loose ball enabled kewell to ping the ball goal wards again. this time van der sar mananged to make the save ableit a desparate one, but only managed to parry it into the unmarked cisse's path in the six yard box.

the moment for cisse to cover himself in glory ended when he blasted the ball high high into the cool manchester sky. how did he managed to miss that?? old trafford breathed a collective sigh of relief.

the next significant utd effort was a 25 yard rooney screamer that had reina scrambling across the goalline in the 80th minute. it was just a warning for what was to happen.

utd was awarded a free kick on the left channel in the 1st minute of injury time. with giggs standing over the ball, there was no question that it was going to be send into the penalty box unerringly. the only question was that is there anyone in a red shirt that will convert the chance.

as the saying goes, cometh the moment, cometh the man. up went ferdinard who powered a unstoppable header off giggs' cross that all reina could do was to help it into the net.

old trafford erupted with all its might. the breakthrough came and it came at an important time. a time where pool had just switched off at the back.

minutes later, the final whistle went and the job was done. another 3 points off the nearest challenger for that final automatic champion's league spot and a reminder to those who think they can write off manchester united.

2006-01-04T01:44:00.000+08:00

tis is the new year again, i must have endured quite a few new years in my lifetime to feel so fatigued by it.

nonetheless, i still haven got tired of setting new year resolutions. the only reason being i have never ever accomplished my new year resolutions.

so here goes,
be a better person.....

gosh, tis is a such a all encompassing one that i would be well off if i just accomplish a quarter of it. haha, a dearth of creativity here..

the holidays are almost over...time to look forward and at the same time take stock of what have happened and continue on with life.

been doing all the things that i shld not be doing, keeping late nights, mahjong, sleeping in almost every other day, so much so, to the extent that the powers that be in the home isnt too happy with me. yah...shld not mahjong convenor for some time to come...

2 long lost fren came over for mahjong today, long lost meaning not much contact since JC times..those 2 were brought over by a sec sch fren of mine..well...the world is just so damn small..lotsa catching up to do..and so..i lost money. hahahaha.first time in a long long time, i have lost, hope it isnt the start of a losing streak and tt its just an aberration. a blip.

sometimes, in my life, there are times when i have gone against better judgement and did things that are not correct per se and regret doing it. after the regreting, the willing to not to commit the same action begins, and yah, u guessed it, the breaking of the promise not to do it again ensues.

this reminds me of Pip in great expectations, i am of cos not talking abt ethan hawke not paltrow here.. i am talkin abt the literary character. always being made to feel guilty and yet keep doing things that are perceived to be wrong and getting sucked into the vicious cycle...

of cos, that would be so unlike me to be sucked into such a vicious cycle...i am wayyyyyyyy too smart for that...or i hope.

last monday, i got caught on my shin while playing soccer. read as i injured my shin while playing non competitive soccer. quite bad..can feel the swollen lump underneath the skin..then 2 days back..i got kick again at the exact same spot!!! it was luckily not a full blooded kick but it wasnt a wimpy kick either..shit...now really comtemplating if i shld seek medical attention. crappy things that happens.

a fren has left..for greener pastures abroad..wun be seeing his ass for 8 months...and another coming back after half a yr abroad... so...zero sum applies.. cant complaint too much too.

frens ard me have complainting or bitching abt the messy rltnshps that seems rampant nowadays. the way i see it, the messier it is, the better it is. hahaha. cos it makes for easy conclusions at the end of it. hahaha...of cos, i am just trying to be funny/ controversal here...

time to check out and pack it off.

cya.

2005-12-30T00:28:00.000+08:00

the end of the year is upon me again.. kinda sucks..actually. 1 more year ticked off those thAT YOU are supposed to live. did lotsa things these days, knew lotsa new peeps. had some interesting conversations and idle talk.

somehow, i feel that i cant really relate to ppl as well as before. before meaning maybe 2-3 yrs back lah. NS days.. but well...yeah, the need to reinvent still remains.

been up and about town these few days, to get the necessary shopping done..and well...working life beckons...

kinda depressing n uplifting at the same time! haha

2005-11-28T02:12:00.000+08:00

so as expected, the guy din recover from the fall... he died. its george best i am talking abt. had lotsa things to blog abt just now, but now sitting in front of the screen...everything just floats into some obsecure reccesses of my messed up, screwed up brain...

will be away for the next 2-3 weeks...just to get some time off all these madness.. a time to reflect and to consolidate and hope i dun encounter even more madness there...

rooney, to me at least, epitomes something that can be both DESTRUCTIVE and BEAUTIFUL at the same time. rooney at full flow, is pure poetry in motion... yet, wind him up a little, all the shit will start flowing too. all the ugly words and actions....just so different from the former rooney that i described...so, yeah, the burning qn here now would be......how come something can be so so so beautiful and yet can have such destructive powers giving rise to conseqences so ugly, its unfathomable....

and yeahhh.....i still cant bring myself to watch SAW 2, wanna try forcing me to go watch it? hahhaahaha

2005-11-23T23:31:00.000+08:00

ohh....have been wanting to mention this for the longest time, arguing and flaming each other online, is just like competing in the Special Olympics, in the end, both of us are still RETARDS.... so, yeah, just wanted to make that point crystal clear to that someone out there...

2005-11-22T12:35:00.000+08:00

aye aye, back here again with a post, a nonsensical post....

i just lurveeee to see someone fall, fall really hard, those type of fall that most people make it their last.

why this perverse fetish with seeing another one biting the dust? , you ask.

cos, i derive even greater pleasure from seeing that same person rising from the ashes, rising to greater heights, and in the process shutting all the obituary writers predicting his demise.

i haf always strive to choose to be subtle rather then 'in yer face'.

its just not my style. and of cos, i ain't gonna please the whole wide world with my own kind of subtlity. hints, and only hints i will drop to convey my meaning. my deepest, true-est meaning.

i am just a bit off the mainstream in terms of thinking, but i make the effort, and mind you its quite an effort, to conform to the mainstream way of thinking. cos, i haf known for the longest time, there can be no fighting the system. the only way could be taking youself outta the system, a system in which i haf grew accustomed to the little convenences that it brings, ie, handphones, email, cars etc etc.

someone once told me this, and i quote, verbatim to how i remember it. 'i already know how i am going to die, lung cancer, liver cancer, cardiac arrest and most probably i will die young, so why not, live it up now?'

yeah, i wanna live it up now, right here, right now, no hestitation, no delays, no regards for the consequences, no facing the music. this dream will, and always remain a dream, for i know, and we all know, there is such a thing like cause and effect. and its results can be very real. very very biting and brutal.

2005-11-21T16:36:00.000+08:00

too much to cram, too little time, yet it must be done, yet i am bored, a lack of motivation maybe?

Calm in this Age of Rage : Clueless in this Information Explosion

2005-11-21T16:33:00.000+08:00

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird...
But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?