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the day that was 240905

woke bright and early by my standards at around 0920. rushed off to join the boys for a kick about. it was supposed to be at 0900. reached there around 0945. had the usual fun and crap during the kickabout session. the weather was hot and hot and hot. think i sweat buckets.

lunch was the usual from the coffee shop nearby. i nearly could not finish up the noodles cos i was feeling so damn hot.

went home, full of anticipation cos will be going for cyclohunt 2005 in the evening. even supposed to go chomp chomp for dinner. thot would get some rest before setting off but spend the time between 1430 to 1700 playing PS2 with my bro.. now i know how addictive is Quidditch..

was feeling a bit nervous and unsure if i can pull thru the night as it would be an all nighter. banished that thot to the back of my mind and prep myself for cyclohunt. took one last check thru baobei bike before setting off and i was off to meet ZC at AMK station.

Along the way, maybe due to long time didn't take baobei bike out for ride, baobei felt kinda different, the handling and all was kinda weird or maybe, i have grown too old to cycle.

reached AMK at ard 1735, ZC nowhere in sight. hope and pray that his bike can take the punishment and the mileage tonight. after all, last time, we went cycling, his gear shifters cables gave up on him and he had a hard time cycling back. while waiting for him , observed that humans tend to be very very self absorbed when they think that no one is looking their way. hehz. shall make it a point not to commit this mistake myself.

ZC reached and we went down chomp chomp for dinner, which was filling and tasty. haha. after stuffing ourselves with food, we made our way down to ECP, where cyclohunt will be flagged off.

ZC and I reached early. was supposed to meet up with the other 2 peeps at 2030 at ECP. a guy and a gal. they arrived on time and we went on to register our team and in a moment of inspiration or maybe more of foreseeing the future, our team was named, NO WAY OUT.

1st thing to go wong was that we drew the route we detest most. the eastern one. ZC and I were clueless about the east...and so were the other 2 peeps. sianz was the prevailing feeling amongst us at tt moment.

Flagged off at 2200. after some fumbling with the map and such unproductive stuff, we took the Siglap park connector all the way to the Kembagnam MRT station for our 1st check pt. from there, went to Bedok 85 for our compulsory checkpt. cycled thru crowded bedok central....and the crowded roads... speed was slow but steady.

While at 85, i bumped into karen! a very unexpected meeting. she was there with her bf and her future mother in law. did not talk to her much as i was supposed to look for the prawn heads..hehz. crappy shit the tasks at this checkpt was. but it was soon done and we told that we were sixth team in. we overall was pleasantly surprised...after all, we are not familiar with the area. But who was to know, what would happen later.

Bedok reservoir, seriously, also can lose our way, i also blurified. the other 2 peeps, actually lost me and ZC who were cycling in front..haiz..and then they took the grand tour of bedok reservior, must have had lotsa private time...ZC and me were beginning to wonder if the guy has an agenda of his own.. :P . I was beggining to tired at this pt. and feeling the hunger pangs.

we decided to split for the next 2 checkpt. ZC to cycle dw to tampines ave 2 to do 1 checkpt and me and the 2 peeps rush down to tampines central to find another checkpt and top up on supplies. plan was to RV at tampines central. but in the end, i told zc just to RV with us at the junction of ave 7 and 2 just to save some mileage. with 2 checkpts done in no time. we set off to changi beach park....

we set off for telok paku road....it was waaayyyy off..the undulating roads were killing me, and my stomach started to growl non stop and i was tired...from the lack of slp and it was pure torture... took 5 at changi village and it din take long for us to see the 1st unofficial mascots of the area.. haha.. i downed 3 choc bars washed it dw with 100 plus... and the hunger was gone! instantly!

reached changi beach and after a big big hor lan...finally found the blardy check pt. then it dawned on me.... i was back at where my expedition for canoe in yr 1. the checkpt was just rite opposite the toilet where i thot i had one of the best moments of my life a year plus back...rite at the same spot.. how ironic life can get?? i was lead on a cycling trip all the way from yishun just to revisit this place?? how god damn ironic.. life has it weird sense of humor, and i dun appreciate it.

then up, changi chapel for the bonus check pt. again, it was up slope all the way....knees are hurting now.. after reaching changi chapel, we were lost! din wanna back track yet dunno how to go to the next checkpt, katong flower shop... so we just let our instinct take over and just cycled towards old tampines road.... we din really made it to old tampines road after a passing motorcyclist helped us out with the directions and warned us of old tampines road...and so we whack the whole of bedok road gg past expo and finally reached kfs. but legs were breaking....cos its another up and down slope route!!

Siglap shopping centre was next.... when i heard it i was like....wth..siglap also got shopping centre?!?!?! anyways...it was certainly god damn boring and morale sapping to cycle along the upper east coast road from one end to the other.....its flat road generally but....u sure cant beat the monotony manz.....nearly fell asleep from sheer boredom and tireness.. finally found it and one last check pt left! a market store at the marine parade market.

it was then tt i know there are a few wet markets along marine parade road...i mean..the store unit nos can strech to like the 500s...lolz..another long n tiring search for the rite one.. finally found it and SLOWLY made our way back to ECP. Timing was 0400 on 250905. we were the 14th team in. not bad i think.

by then, i was already losing all my coherent thots...was speaking gibberish and laffing at all the lame jokes cracked by me and ZC...think we 2 were afflicted by cyclist's high..hehe.

breakfast at ECP Mac... and set off for home!!! it was pure torture...all the way back home from ecp. but i made it!! reached home at 0830...settled down and had a nice looooooooong shower to clear my mind abit.. and it was 0930 before i lay my tired body down to my bed....its been a hectic 24 hrs...

我一路向北　離開有你的季節
方向盤周圍　迴轉著我的後悔
我加速超越　卻甩不掉緊緊跟隨的傷悲
細數慚愧　我傷你幾回
停止狼狽　就讓錯純粹

練習

如果留下多一秒鐘
可以減少明天想你的痛
我會願意放下所有
交換任何一絲絲可能的佔有

幸福只剩一杯沙漏
眼睜睜看著一幕幕甜蜜不會再有
原本平凡無奇的擁有
到現在竟像是無助的奢求

我已開始練習
開始慢慢著急
著急這世界沒有你
已經和眼淚說好不哭泣
但倒數說時的愛該怎麼繼續
我天天練習 天天都會熟悉
在沒有你的城市裡
試著刪除每個兩人世界裡
那些曾經共同擁有的一切美好和回憶

愛是一萬公煩的森林
迷了路的卻是我和你
不是說好一起闖出去
怎能剩我一人回去 回去


you know who you are..

balancing on a thin fine line

i have always been bad at balancing. due to owning a pair of duck feet, sometimes, i really have problems balancing in tight spaces such as crowded places with unruly people (read crowded dancefloors) but i am missing the point of this article.

the point of this article would be, then, about balance.

Balance in the metaphorical sense.

I had always thot its always good to balance the good with the bad, the yin and the yang. thought that only with balance can good things follow. and so, i tried to play and study in equal amounts..or at least i tried. the results were...kinda ok. but there wasn't too much joy all around. cos i had to limit my play time and when the first line of self correction failed (myself), the second line of correction (read coreicion) came in. my parents had to make me study. of coz, their methods are of the less pleasant type. (shouting, and caning if worse comes to worst.) and so there was grief in certain amounts all around those involved. so with my very myopic example, i has showed tt balance is not ALWAYS good. it can be good and bad.

Life's Lessons on a Concrete Court

After buying my pair of shoes, the least i expected was to lose my footing while wearing them but that was what I did. not once, not twice but three times!! I was so pissed with myself. so damn very pissed. know something is wrong yet nothing much i can do to fix it nor to at least better it. its a bad feeling to have. this feeling of helplessness. many a times in life, i tend to be complacent. letting things run its own course and going with the flow, thinking things would take care of itself. more often then not, it has. but am gettin kinda tired of this kinda of life. wanna make a change, yet am faced with this sense of helplessness. this lethargy that i cant shake myself out of.

just like a striker, a goal would make all the difference. a little change would likewise make all the difference for me. and i sense that i know what i can/will change. that little change that will make all the difference.

sure that day, i was totally playing like shit....i myself felt it. so did those in my team. was feeling frustrated and yet trying to take all blame myself and shifting the blame to other stuff..all at the same time. my team just leaked goals... rotten feeling. people pre judge people all the time. i have been on both sides of it..being on the good and bad side, i would like to think. it shows, how u think of people, people generally aren't stupid and can kinda sense or feel such stuff, call it body language or just pure feelings, people just know. to quote mourinho, it is easy to be clever, the impt thing is not to think the other person is stupid. words of wisdom indeed.. this special one.

rotten-ness was doubled by those looks and glances.. those frustrated with you yet din wanna scold you kinda look. damn...it was bad.

Maybe i shld take a break from this sunday soccer kick about thingy. saw one of those chinese docs after hearing some horror stories abt the consequences of not treating injuries properly and not letting them heal completely. e Doc advised, no strenous physical activity for 4-5 mths!! and had to avoid eating helluva lot of food. reason for the long recovery time being its not been fully healed up before me argvating it again... feel like going on yet feel so much like giving it all up.

to strike a balance....is it really so god damn difficult?!

Oh, cracked up, stacked up, 22
Psycho for sex and glue
Lost it to Bostik, yeah
Oh, shaved heads, rave heads, on the pill
Got too much time to kill
Get into bands and gangs

Oh, here they come, the beautiful ones
The beautiful ones
Here they come, the beautiful ones
The beautiful ones
-----Beautiful Ones

out of the blue.


just to record some recent events and my thots on them.

was at kicking about with my footy kakis as usual on a sun morning, an indian team wanted to play and well, was fighting for the ball with 1 of the younger ones (15-18 type), i admit, i might have used excessive force but its no biggie. tt I actually came over ask said in a very xl tone, and i quote verbatim ,
I:u push push for wat?
Me: wat push? going for the ball wat!!!!
I: okok, fight for ball ah....u good.

so as i expected, this bugger barged into me in a feeble to fight for the ball...well, i din fall over and i sorta expected it alr. BUT in a unexplainable reaction, i felt god damn farking angry. Boiling point and over that type of anger. the next best thing was to get back at him. IN A VERY OBVIOUS MANNER. and so all the stupid things follow.. going for a piece of him and his team.. to cut things short, nothing happened, the I gotten the idea that he's not gonna win any fight and well just backed off and shut the fuck up and just gotten on with it... i would nv wanna lose my temper again.

again, it happened when i am kicking ball with the regulars.this time, a mud team was up against us, they were kinda friendly and i liked it that way. maybe because i was tired out, or just plain lazy or watever, i found myself the last defender when one of the mud player broke thru our defence. he went past me with a feint, i attempted to bring him down..very cynical yes, i know.. but its one of those things la.. i am not perfect, u know. and he went down like a ton of bricks. he came over to confront me after he got up, i haf nothing to say except sorry..after some shoving here and there of which i was the shoved... i said sorry and...sorry and sorry..and sorry some more. felt so rotten. but its only a game. life goes on.

was out last wed nite with br and we ended up on a drinkin binge!! *gasp* in the end, i managed to drag my sorry ass home in such a sorry state that......its amazing to get home in the 1st place. dunno y so on, just drink and drink and just drink some more...it take quite a lot to get me in such a state..guess..it went into triple figures...damn..wat a waste of money..and time...and my health too.

tokin abt health, was dw with mild dengue sometime back..felt like some goda forsaken shit manz.. so it wasnt too good to binge drink last week and my parents let me know in no uncertain terms. its sad la, when they still have to deal with all the immature actions of mine. maybe they are frustrated, but....just to quote robbie williams ' i might be scum but i am your son' hahaha. i shld start being a better son from now on. seriously. hahahhaa

NDP05, i was there. LIVE. saw the fireworks et al. still can't figure whats so fantastic abt it all, why some people so on abt looking at fireworks. fireworks alone per se, of cos is boring, but if the rite company is ard, it does really look a shade more worthy of the hype. but so is wathcing movies and any other activites, the company makes a big big difference. prove me wrong.

we now have a blind superstar. a runner up that has a mostly crappy dress sense. nv watched an episode before the finals, fyi, i sat thru the whole finals. saw the performances and thot the blindman really is not bad. but that kelly is really cool lah. both their last songs were really really touching. But being able to touch an audience for a limited time isnt going to sell too much albums. haha. skeptical skeptical...nonetheless, sg still has a long way to go before being able to integrate the handicapped into our everyday life..and that is very sad..we are all humans, borned to daddies and mummies...very sad but..its the society and well..just bear it and move on i guess..

They're selling razor blades and mirrors in the street
Pray that when I'm coming down you'll be asleep
If I ever hurt you your revenge will be so sweet
Because I'm scum and I'm your son
I come undone
I come undone
--------------Come Undone

its been a long time.

i wonder how times have changed. here i am, viewing jolin tsai's J-game MVs. comtemplating of going riding, getting new shoes, going to the WCG, basically lots of thoughts--passing and pernament ones.

i always thot tt to be able to use our brains to think, analyse, evaluate, create was the hallmark of a fully functional and competent human being. But some how, in some way or the other, people seems to be suppressing this ability to use their brains or obstructing other ppl from using theirs actively.

we all want obedient subordinates, people who rubber stamp our decisions, people who have no personality and just say yes yes yes yes all day long, massaging our own egos and fanning our pride to greater heights.

Yesssss, i would want that. i am self centred, i am the sun that the other planets revolve around, the be all and end all. nothing beats that right? being the centre of attention, to be in the limelight. abeysance, absolutely. that would be the ultimate drug which delivers the ultimate high.

humility on the other hand, teaches us another lesson. teaches us to be put others before self, the meaning of sacrificing, the joy of the group's success superceding yer own. like a teacher with limitless patience and benevolence, it points out to us every now and then our mistakes with a smile and an encouraging pat on the back.

but i take it for granted. definitely, absolutely. but i am not ashamed, nor embarrassed. i feel liberated, free from those chains of guilt that such self sacrifice would have. i have not a heart of stone, last i checked, its still flesh and blood and still ever suspensible to the occasional heart stopping moments.

the point of all these, i should just go get my new pair of shoes asap.

老鼠 老虎 傻傻分不清楚
滿臉 泥土 失敗的被俘虜
小賭 豪賭 想愛就別怕苦
看不 清楚 遲早粉身碎骨

-------野蠻遊戲